Obsessed

Wanted to share a few things I am a little obsessed with. We'll call this the Obsessed: Fashion Edition blog post. All the things I have been wearing to death.

Short in Front/Long in Back Dress (skirt)

Crazy about these. They're fun, funky, and functional. It's like a mullet... in dress form. Party in the front and business in the back. I love getting to show off some leg while still covering my butt, literally. Super comfortable. I can move around with ease and still look cute. I want more! I have to refrain myself from overstocking my closet with these. Don't want people to think they are all I am capable of wearing. 

[sidenote: There are some bad versions of this style of dress, so it is important to be picky.]

Scarves

Super original, I know. But, it's winter and these are my go-to pop of fun. Some do necklaces... I do scarves. I'm picky about my scarves though. I like them big and full. No need to bother with the wimpy ones. A great color, pattern, or just something that makes it pop a little more is always nice as well.

Leather Jacket

Everyday. Everywhere. Throw on jeans, boots, T, leather jacket - done! I have been wearing mine to death, but I can't help it. Maybe it's because I've always wanted to wear jackets like this and couldn't, so now I'm making up for lost time or deep down inside me there's a member of Hell's Angels... either way... obsessed.

Boots

I know, I know, just like the scarves, this is nothing original, but I can't write about the things I've been obsessed with this season and not at least mention my boots. They go with everything. Over or under the jeans, with a dress, with my skinnies... whatever, throw on some boots for a good look and yet very comfortable. And that's that.

Fun Nails

I usually never paint my nails because I am horrible at keeping them up and then I end up looking like a pre-teen at work. However, this is a trend I had to jump on. Granted my nails are currently naked as I type this, but I do have an appointment with my private nail technician extraordinaire (my sister) to have them done again. I just love all the experimenting and fun people are having with their nails. Add the glitter! Mix the colors! Make the patterns! I love putting a neutral color on the majority of my nails and then picking a fun pop for the ring finger... with some glitter.

High Sock Bun

I blame my sister for getting me hooked on this one. I tried it for the first time in the pic above and found that it was super easy to do and I like the look. Nothing like having another option with my hair that takes very little effort and looks like I actually tried. I've probably overused this one like everything else listed on this post, but when you are obsessed you just can't help yourself. 

Stacked Jewelry

Layer it on! Stack your bracelets. Stack your rings. I can't get enough! We'll know I've gone too far when I look like I did when I was 8 or 9 and decided it necessary to wear all my silver rings on all of my fingers... hmmm. But stacking, I love. With the bracelets it may be like the jackets where I used to not be able to wear them because my wrists were too big and now that I can, I love it. And I really love the leather straps wrapped around several times and some of the ones with words. This one says, "TOUGH" and my other one says, "FIERCE"... obviously. We all knew I wouldn't go for the ones that say "LOVE" or "SWEET." Ha!

The image that sums it ALL up for me!

Mix &Match

Hard & Soft

Dress Up/Dress Down

Layers

I totally want this outfit. I just love the juxtaposition of it all. Mixing and matching styles. Soft flowing skirt with a ball cap! Layer it on with that great pop of color and we are good. It says, "I'm fun, quirky, and I don't take myself too seriously."

The Ugly Truth

The ugly truth is that two years and 90 lbs later I still have plenty of evidence of being a former fat girl. Unfortunately for me, this evidence manifests itself in the form of skin... extra skin that is. Like a woman who has had a baby, twins really, and now the baby is out but her skin has been stretched and doesn't want to go back. I don't have a literal baby to show for my stretch marks and sad stomach, but a new life has emerged from the depths of my soul. A rebirth, I suppose of myself, into the person I was always destined to be. And all that has been great, but really the whole skin thing SUCKS.

Now, before I get all real with you, let me say that I have contemplated sharing this on my blog for awhile now but have been nervous to do so. Mainly because I don't want this to be all people think about when they see me. There are things that can be hidden with clothes and other people don't pick up on until you point it out to them. So, here I am pointing out my biggest insecurity. Why? Because it's my truth and because I think people should know that it's not all rainbows and butterflies and every step of this journey has not been pretty.

Last night I had to stop at Target on the way home from the gym to pick up a couple things and right there in the front were bathing suits. There was this to-die-for orange bikini with fringe on the top. I don't know why, but I just thought it was super cute. And that's when I knew I was going to share the ugly truth. Even though I have worked my butt off and pushed myself to do things I had only dreamed of before, I feel my body betrays me. Even with all the muscle I have built up and losing the weight slowly, I still have loose skin. I don't get to wear that bikini and to be blunt, it pisses me off!

This may be all vain but for me it's the fact that my body does not show all the hard work I have put into not just losing the fat, but also building up my muscle. I'm proud and excited about what I have built but much is hidden by the loose skin. It's frustrating. It's disappointing. It's embarrassing. It sucks to be moving around in a class like Zumba and see my underarms flapping. Or one time I wore a loose T-shirt and shorts to Bootcamp instead of a more fitted workout top and bottom and I could literally feel my skin pulling on my stomach when I jogged in place... really?! How is that fair?!

So, I'm a former fat girl with some saggy arms, chest, and stomach. It doesn't define me or cancel out all I've done, but it does TOTALLY suck! I'm self conscious about it for sure and do my best to hide it. Time will tell what will tighten up on its own and what won't.

I have considered surgery and it's something that I don't take lightly. It's not really something I can afford to do now, but I do have a lot of questions about it. With that being said, I have an appointment for a consultation with a doctor that a dear friend recommended who is going through a similar journey as mine. I just want to "take the car to the shop" and get an "estimate." Ask my burning questions and get an idea of what I'm really dealing with.

So, there's my ugly truth. No pictures cuz I really don't want something like that permanently on the inter-web. I'm sure you get the idea. But... In better news, I think my butt is looking FABULOUS, if I do say so myself. Thank you, squats, lunges, and running.


And I leave you with this photo. For you, but really for myself. I have to stop comparing myself to others. We all have a different journey with different results. I may really want toned arms, chest, and stomach, but the fact that I don't doesn't make me any less of a badass (excuse my french).